Beer wasters are not welcome.

I find it funny that the one thing I grew up feeling guilty about wasting was — not leftover dinner, not that “perfectly good sweater”, not the electronic gadget or pair of Nikes that were replaced the next year with the latest version — but alcohol. Up to this day, it literally hurts my soul when I see alcohol being wasted. Half drunk beer bottles scattered around the house after a party. Leftover red wine in the glass with my wife’s lip marks still gracing the rim.

Maybe it’s not funny. Maybe it’s a bit sad. Of course, I’m a different person now, I care a great deal about being wasteful of anything. But still. Wasting booze?

Last night I was out with a Canadian Meetup group. We try to get together once a month, usually the last Wednesday. It’s always a small group, the same four or five people — I don’t know, Canadians are kinda shy I guess. I ordered a beer from the tap, but the server came back with a bottle. Maybe it’s because we’re traveling soon and I’m getting sensitive with money, but I told him I actually ordered it from the tap. But the damage was done, the bottle was open, so I told him, in good Aussie fashion, “no worries. This is fine.”

He asked if I wanted a chilled glass and I said sure. In the meantime, I took a sip or two from the bottle, then he came back with a full glass of draught beer. Before I could muster a word, he took the bottle away, replaced it with the glass, then proceeded to dump the entire beer out into the sink.

I watched, helpless. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I think I was in shock. If anyone had been paying attention to me they probably would have seen my bottom lip quiver. All I could do was turn back around to my fellow Canadians and say, “Did you just see that? He just dumped that beer down the sink! Can you believe it?!” In fact, they could. And I don’t think they cared.

I’m cursed with a slow wit. I lose arguments all the time. I can never get the last word in. 20 minutes after an argument the perfect response always comes to me, leaving me to brood about it for the rest of the day, wishing I’d just said that.

So, in this spirit, this is what I should have said to that guy who dumped the beer down the sink:

Hey man, what did you do that for? Do you know how wasteful that is? And I don’t just mean the beer. That bottle didn’t just magically appear here. Have you ever thought about how much energy goes into producing that? Making the beer, making the bottle, making the pretty label that goes on the bottle? The carton that that beer and all the other beers go into? And then storing it, transporting it, shipping it, delivering it here? You didn’t just pour beer down that sink. You poured down a hell of a lot of fossil fuels. Why didn’t you just give it to me if that’s what you were going to do? Hell, I would have paid for it before seeing you do that. Nice work man.